


Eyes Wide Open

by helens78



Category: Equilibrium (2002)
Genre: M/M, Pre-Canon, Sex Club
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-09-27
Updated: 2006-09-27
Packaged: 2017-10-05 20:09:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helens78/pseuds/helens78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A few of Jurgen's experiences as Librium becomes commonplace.  Thoughts about the bill that made Librium mandatory for all citizens, a meeting with a recent ex, and an encounter with a stranger in a bar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eyes Wide Open

**Author's Note:**

> A quick cast of characters: Jurgen's ex-lover Ted is being played by Jason Isaacs, and the anonymous kid in the bar is being played by Jonathan Rhys-Meyers. Jurgen, of course, is the one and only Bill Fichtner, who was excellent in _Equilibrium_.

Jurgen remembers the bill that made Librium an imperative instead of an option. Congress has been trying to get it passed for years, and usually it gets clobbered. Not this time. They've got five years to implement it, which doesn't seem like very long all of a sudden. Jurgen's been seeing more and more friends and lovers break down and start taking it over the last decade, but this is different.

* * *

"I've been worried about you," Jurgen says. Ted looks up at him, ducks his head to look down at the table, shakes off Jurgen's concern. He's not frowning, not smiling. It's like he's barely noticed he's here. "Are you doing all right?"

"I'm fine, Jurgen. You don't have to worry anymore." Ted's still not smiling, not even that fake superficial expression most people have when they're out to dinner with a recent ex. "I'm not hurting."

Something about the way he says it makes Jurgen pull back. He's not sure what to ask first. "Okay..." he says. "What have you been up to?"

It's not the answer he was expecting; given the way he met Ted in the first place, he was expecting to hear that Ted's been out every night getting fucked hard and steady by whoever was available. Not healthy, not something that'd have him smiling, but it'd be better than this. Those goddamned orange capsules that people are shooting up like heroin. Only there's no euphoria, no pleasure. There's just this broad, deep nothingness that makes Jurgen want to throw up.

"I didn't come here to make you feel guilty," Ted says. "I came here to share. If you're hurting like I've been hurting, you could--"

"I don't need a goddamned drug to tone down my emotions. For Christ's sake -- no. I _want_ to hurt. I _want_ to feel like shit for a while. I _want_ to--" _miss you_, he thinks, but he turns away and shakes his head.

"I don't understand why anyone ever wants that," Ted says softly. He slides a vial across the table, and Jurgen flicks it away with his forefinger. It goes sliding back across the table, and Ted catches it before it can fall.

* * *

Jurgen doesn't get drunk. He's tempted, but no. First of all, alcohol's getting too expensive, and second, he's not ready to chase the fear of drugs away with other mind-altering substances.

That basically leaves sex, and he's not afraid of going out and getting that.

The guy he picks up is younger than him by about ten years. Really cute. He's got eager eyes, an expression Jurgen's going to remember as he's going to sleep for the next few weeks. Eager eyes are getting more and more rare.

Jurgen doesn't want to lose eye contact, so he puts the kid on his knees, fingers twisted into his hair as he sucks Jurgen off. The kid's good, really good, enough that Jurgen's whispers of encouragement end up turning into nothing but soft grunts by the time he's through. Jurgen comes with his eyes wide open, and when the kid's licked him clean, Jurgen pulls him up to his feet and holds him close, kissing him while he gets a hand down the kid's pants and starts jerking him off.

The kid squirms like crazy, kisses like he's starved for it. His tongue's just as hot in Jurgen's mouth as it was on his cock, and Jurgen wishes he had more time. He's betting this kid fucks like a dream, too, and he wonders if he's ever heard of rimming. A kid with a tongue like that? Somebody must have shown him. Somebody. Ten years ago he wouldn't even be wondering about that, but today...

The kid nips Jurgen's lower lip and yelps softly, cock tightening under Jurgen's grip, a sudden hot rush of come getting Jurgen's wrist nice and sticky. Jurgen pulls back and looks into the kid's eyes again. "You feel good," he murmurs.

"Thanks," the kid pants. "You, too."

He's even nice enough to lick Jurgen's hand clean before he goes. Jurgen's all set to watch him leave, but somehow he can't let go just yet.

"Listen..."

"Yeah?"

"Are you happy?"

The kid gives him an odd look and then grins broadly. "Of course I'm happy," he says. "Always. Unless I'm bored."

He trots off, and Jurgen's got a feeling he's going to be using that mouth of his to keep from being _bored_ all night.

The world doesn't look so dim after all.

_-end-_


End file.
